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Check Your Elf Before You Wreck Your Elf (Christmas EP 2013)

by MC117

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1.
On the 12th day of Christmas My true love gave me 12 Drummers Drumming 11 Pipers Piping 10 Lords-a-Leaping 9 Ladies Dancing 8 Maids-a-Milking 7 Swans! 6 Geese-a-Laying 5 Golden Rings 4 Calling Birds and 3 French Hens 2 Turtle Doves for special friends Are what my my true love game me And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
2.
Angels we have heard on high Sweetly singing o’er the plains And the mountains in reply Echoing their joyous strains Gloria In excelsis Deo! Gloria In excelsis Deo! Shepherds, why this jubilee? Why your joyous strains prolong? What the gladsome tidings be Which inspire your heavenly song? Come to Bethlehem and see Him Whose birth the angels sing; Come, adore on bended knee, Christ the Lord, the newborn King. Gloria In excelsis Deo! Gloria In excelsis Deo!
3.
Now here's a little story I've got to tell About two poor peasants from Israel It started way back in history The advent: Joseph and his wife Mary Nazareth was a village way far from here Beth, Mary’s cousin, had a bundle of cheer Barren she began, silent was her man But she wound up great with child by Jehovah’s hand Young and holy was Mary Waitin for Joseph, was his bride-to-be No son was coming ‘round ‘cuz she celibate Her love-life had no stories she could tell of it Walking down the trail she ran into a male His name was Gabriel, she said “Howdy”, he said “Hail!” He told her she was favored and gonna have a boy His birth would be glad tidings filling people with joy She didn’t understand how she could be equipped To build a baby in her womb, some steps had gotten skipped She said, “Where is this bun inside my oven from?” He said, “God’s will is done In giving you God’s son.” Joe was quick out the door, before they got wed An angel came to his dream and this is what he said “Now my name is Gabriel, I bear a message from God Your girl has got Emmanuel inside of her bod Your judgement’s premature; her chastity’s assured It’s God’s command you take her hand, He’s made Himself heard The angel said to him he should adopt the boy as kin For he will be messiah saving his people from their sin Now Joseph woke up, knew what to do He went and found Mary who soon would be due She was in no condition for travelling But he couldn’t delay, because he feared the king: Joe said “I’ll ride with you back to my ancestor’s home Herod’s askin me for all the money we owe him We gotta leave quick, we gotta make tracks He’ll kill us if we skip on his tax” Joe... packed up his hun, their trip had begun And right about time she’s gonna have her son The King Jesus was on his way And they needed to stop for a spot they could lay They rode across country for Bethlehem The road was bumpy till the late P.M. The town was crowded and the vacancy thin There was no empty spot they could stay at the inn Joseph said, “Bro, got room for us?” The guy said, “We’re full, but the stable does” Mary said, “Get ready, ‘cuz it’s time, hunny. The manger’s free, and this kid’s leaving my tummy” She gave birth to Jesus, right next to the sty A star lit him up shining from the sky Magi showed up as shepherds came to see The king of kings and the prince of peace “Hail Mary, we these gifts confer The gold and the frankincense and also the myrrh” Herod was jealous and feared God’s grace So he ordered every baby boy be killed in the place Wise men peaced out, the shepherds skipped Joe had a dream where he got tipped Mary grabbed the baby, to Egypt they rolled; The advent story is what you’ve been told

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In 2012, MC117 released a free three-song EP of terrible Christmas music. In 2013 he resolved to release a second EP that was even worse. Welcome to the twisted fruits of that labor.

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released December 22, 2013

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MC117 Redmond, Washington

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Mocking music that takes itself a little (or a lot) too seriously, MC 117 produces pan-referential straight-faced commentary of hip hop, video games, and pop culture at large. Focusing on audial allusions and lyrical sleight-of-hand, this satire auteur carves his own genre in the fertile ground between "knockoff" and "ripoff". ... more

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